Living a frugal lifestyle, watching your spending, and going without the extras are all important goals to have, and they can be necessary sometimes to get by. In my opinion, though, you need to have a reason to do these things, an end goal in mind, otherwise, all of the hard work that you put in will not have a point. It will also make it much easier to give up fancy coffee when you know that you are doing it so you won’t have house payments.
Money is an important tool, but it is just that, a tool. It does not have an inherent value, it is only valuable because of what can be done with it. Dying with more money does not make you better than anyone else, whether you got that money with a high-paying job or because you never went out to a fancy restaurant.
To me, a big part of living frugally is knowing when it is best to spend your money. To me, going on vacations and buying craft supplies are very valuable to my piece of mind and are worth budgeting for. To someone else, going to Starbucks in the morning for coffee or buying merchandise from their favorite fandom lifts their spirits and is an important part of their identity. These things have a different value to different people and spending money on it does not make anyone more or less frugal. What hurts a person the most is spending hard-earned money on something they do not care about when it would be better spent elsewhere.